An oyster’s immediate response to material that irritates it, such as grit or sand, is to cover it up with layers of the same substance used to create its shell encasing, which inside, eventually forms a pearl. A pearl, known for its iridescent beauty, and awe-striking exterior, can only be made through a process of irritation, discomfort, and intrusion. As such, this sentiment and the relationship between the pearl and the oyster, is something that can be easily linked to the intimate and confronting experiences that contemporary neo-soul artist, Liv.e, speaks of on her album Girl In The Half Pearl. While this analogy of creating something beautiful out of an experience that may be uncomfortable, may not have been entirely purposeful, it can be understood and felt as such throughout the intense, stirring sonic journey that is Girl In The Half Pearl.
On Liv.e’s sophomore album, the artist transcends all musical bounds, filling your ears with pack-a-punch deep cuts, haunting harmonies, and a story to tell across the entire 41 minutes. She enters a process of vigorous self-examination, questioning her past self and the relationships she was in, and reflecting on feelings of lost innocence, naivety, and vulnerability. However, throughout the album, we see Liv.e reclaim her life and come into herself as a woman entering her mid-20s. Her voice and the narratives she crafts, accompanied by the hard-hitting production, makes it feel like you’re watching someone access their ultimate superpower capabilities. Liv.e has become the superhero her younger self needed, and she’s here to save the world.
Despite the confronting and oftentimes, jarring nature of the sounds and stories that drive this album, Liv.e has ultimately come to a place in her life where she can sit and indulge in complete solitude. When we caught up with her over Zoom, she swung back and forth on a swing set, with the backdrop of Austrian pine trees. Glancing at her surroundings every now and then, her inner child shined, as we spoke about her relationship with herself, the comfort of the nighttime, and being a Capricorn.
How’s tour life going in Europe so far?
Freaking amazing. I have no complaints at all whatsoever.
What’s the time over there?
It’s 10:00 a.m. I’m glad I got to wake up early and see a few things.
Do you have any other plans before you start to head out?
Just like walk, look at the mountains. Hopefully, the fog clears up a little bit so I can see them, but it’s okay. It rained on the way up here. I feel like I just did shrooms [laughs].
I love it. I feel like once you get to sit in nature for a little while, it kind of brings that side out of you where you’re just like, “wow, this is real life. I’m actually existing right now.” I’ve had plenty of moments like that.
Exactly. Very heart-chakra based, for sure.
I kind of want to start talking about your origins and coming from Dallas, Texas. What was your experience with music like growing up there?
I went to church a lot for sure. Lots of church-going. So I feel like that’s so helpful when you are trying to make R&B. I used to go to a Baptist church with my parents and my dad is a musician. My brother used to play in church too since he was a kid. It’s pretty great. Now he’s pretty great at what he does. So I guess it’s just in the essence. I’m not even going to say it’s in the blood because it’s in the essence, but lots of background with that and just having good musical tastes. Being surrounded by so many people with different tastes was definitely helpful. Lots of old-school shit.
I know that you’ve spoken before about how you tried to avoid becoming a musician because of how much music is kind of ingrained in your family. So if you hadn’t decided to pursue music, what do you think you would be doing?
That’s such a great question. I should ask myself this. I’m actually not sure. I never really thought about that. Or not that I never did, but it’s not a common thought. I would probably say though; I’ll still be doing art because I didn’t really start off doing music, I was doing visual art beforehand. I’ll probably still be doing that. Never anything to make any real money though. [laughs]
The struggle is so real.
Definitely. But honestly, not really though. Once you let go of the mindset of, “Oh, I just want money, I just want money,” everything else just kind of falls into place.
Yeah, for sure. There’s a lot more to it.
Definitely.
Speaking on music in Dallas, how has it kind of evolved over the years since you’ve been involved in music?
I don’t live there anymore, so I couldn’t really tell you too much. But I just know that Dallas has a lot of talented people and I feel like it’s almost to the point where it’s depressing because it’s just, mounds of talented people, but not a lot of places to kind of express and expand that beyond the border if that makes sense. We’ve always been superior at jazz, R&B. I’m not even going to talk about rap. Definitely pretty influential. We definitely inspired Soulja Boy.
Oh, she said it.
I’ll say it again, too [laughs].
I love it. I feel like Dallas, Texas is a bit of an enigma in the way that people know a lot about it, but not so much at the same time. It kind of just sits in the middle.
Exactly. I have to agree
And it’s interesting that even though you don’t live there anymore, you still know the kind of power that it continues to have creatively.
I still go back sometimes to see my Mom. Other than that, I’m like, I get it. I will carry the legacy [laughs].
As you should! Speaking of legacy, I want to congratulate you on Girl In the Half Pearl. I think it is such an excellent album. I really enjoyed it a lot.
Ah no, don’t make me cry and get sentimental.
This is the place to do that! [laughs]
Oh my God. I’ve been crying so hard all the way up until now, where I’m finally just sitting. Thank you so much.
No, of course. I resonate a lot with really raw depictions of life experiences, and I feel like Girl In the Half Pearl is very much that. There’s so much detailing about some of your personal relationships and the experiences that you were dealing with during the time of writing. So how did making this album kind of help you make sense of everything and process the things you talk about?
I think a lot of the processing has to do thereafter, but during, I was just kind of feeling and trying to lay all the puzzle pieces out, and then once I finish it, and I listen back to it, maybe I am a little bit more far removed from the situation, I think it helps me to see what I was talking about. It was the same thing with Couldn’t Wait to Tell You…, I didn’t really know what I was talking about. I mean, I didn’t know what I was talking about with this album; I was just like, just talk. Just get it out.
Just get shit off your chest.
Exactly. But a lot of it was like allowing the side of myself that is more, “negative” to kind of shine; if that makes sense, because I feel like at one point, I was definitely on my people-pleasing shit. It was nice to release that and not judge myself for it. It’s so crazy because in my head, I’m always like, I don’t fucking care. But I care so much. [laughs]
Yeah, I feel like we’re all guilty of it.
I’m trying to stop that shit though. I think I’m doing a pretty good job. I think a lot of it had to do with me being afraid to be honest about how I was feeling, in order to protect other people’s feelings and other people’s state of emotions. It’s nice to give myself that outlet and not feel unnecessary guilt, because I feel like that always is what comes with it.
Do you feel like even post the release of this album, you still struggle with upholding a sense of honesty and being completely free in what you’re saying and what you’re doing?
Hell yeah. Do you know how hard it is to exist in a world where everybody is so goddamn sensitive? Like I’m sensitive, and I’m compassionate towards others. But others are sensitive in the way of, like, “oh, depression, depression”. It’s just like, what the fuck? We’re not going to get anywhere with this shit. I don’t feel like being nice to all of you. I’m sorry. You suck. You definitely suck. We all suck right now; it’s okay. I mean, even if you look at the state of comedy. I know that people are like, oh, you have to change with the times, but I’m like, the whole point of comedy is to offend and make you uncomfortable with the honest things that we don’t talk about. So it’s like, we can’t do that in comedy anymore. So it’s just like I don’t know, just looking around and shit, it makes you go, alright, this is getting kind of complicated.
Do you feel like it’s kind of liberating, then? I guess just to kind of go off on a limb in this album and say what you want and not give a fuck about whether someone likes it or whether people receive it well or anything like that?
Definitely. It’s been awesome. Honestly, I’m so glad I wrote it the way I did, honestly.
I feel like sonically and even lyrically, there’s so much to unpack and understand that you can’t fit into one listen. It definitely took me at least three listens to fully be like, all right, Liv.e, I hear you.
Sometimes I feel like I didn’t say enough. I have to realise that that’s just the type of person I am. I’m not really going to say too much, but I’m also not trying to overly explain myself.
What do you think is the ideal way to listen to the album?
All the way through, top to bottom, every time. Even if you try to listen to one song, you’re going to end up listening to the whole thing anyway. It’s like trying to read a book, but you’re only reading one chapter over and over again. So definitely top to bottom.
What kind of setting should someone be in?
Nightlife, I love nightlife. But honestly, any setting really. It could be early morning, 4:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m. I think 3:00 a.m. was probably the hour of which I was creating a lot of it. The creepy hour. That’s when the freaks come out at night.
Do you feel like your mind is kind of wired a different way late at night?
Kind of, yeah. But I was doing a lot of things as well. I was doing a lot of shrooms, smoking a lot of weed and drinking and shit. So I think I was probably just, like, on one. That’s probably why I was up so much. But also, I feel like when you’re trying to process things, especially major changes. It’s kind of hard to rest. It was probably one of those hours where it feels like nobody else in the world is awake, and so finally you can hear yourself; you can hear your thoughts. You can hear and feel yourself, even though there’s thousands of people outside right now. That’s why I like the nighttime too.
For sure. So you’re probably more of a nighttime person than a morning person.
I like the morning time too, honestly. I’m just very talkative in the morning. I be kind of silly, but I like the morning time. I like seeing the sunrise, especially on tour and stuff.
You’ve also spoken about the differences between the person you were when you were writing your debut album Couldn’t Wait to Tell You…, and the person that you are now. Can you describe the relationship that you share with the girl that wrote that album?
Honestly, I told somebody recently that I feel like I’m my own big sister, kind of teaching myself how to navigate this world again. I would say my younger self was definitely a lot more naive, full of rose-coloured glasses. Just kind of like letting whatever happen, and getting into whatever, which isn’t bad, you have to experience those things. But it’ll definitely get you caught up. No regrets, though. Absolutely zero regrets. Now, I’m just like, all right, time to fucking bring out the swords and start swiping people’s heads off if they ever try to bother me.
I guess it just comes with a bit of growth. What do you think would be a worthy piece of advice that you would offer to the girl who wrote that?
I would be like, “Hey, girl. I know you love this right now, but definitely keep your eyes open. Definitely listen to people when they tell you who they are. I know we hear that all the time, but that shit is a real thing. Have way more fun.You don’t have to prove anything to yourself nor to others. It’s not that serious. Nothing is that serious. Everything is going to change. Just let it happen. Don’t try to hold on to things. Don’t kill it if you love it.”. My great friend, John Bap, said that.
I love that. I feel like every girl could benefit from hearing something as simple as “Don’t kill it if you love it.”. When you’re young, you consume things so easily.
So impressionable, so open. I just felt like I was so pure and so sweet and just a little angel. It’s like, why would anybody prey on me? It’s kind of crazy, but I’d also say, “Don’t take anything to heart. Don’t take it personally.” The amount of fucking times I heard that from the person I definitely should have been taking it personally from.
I read that you took a bit of an unconventional approach sonically this time, where you were going off sounds and noises as opposed to melody when creating the album. Tell me about that process and how you wanted to structure these certain sounds into the album?
I think I was just very much in the mode of being like, “I am a computer, I am a computer, I am on the computer.”. Also, I was listening to this mix that was put out on Fresh Selects a long time ago. It’s like noise and a bunch of crazy-sounding songs. It sounded like all goth music. And I was like, oh, yeah, this is where I’m at. I’d been listening to that type of shit for three years at that point. So I was like, okay, I’ve studied this mix enough, and it has resonated with me for so long, I might take a shot at making some music that sounds like this. On top of that, I feel like that was also just kind of where my heart was at too, because a lot of that type of music is just based on the rhythm of the heart, if that makes sense.
That’s awesome. I also know that you’re a Capricorn. Are you into astrology?
Yes. I was just thinking, like, I am so in the mountains right now. I’m climbing up the rocks today. I’m so in touch. [laughs]
I don’t really know much about Capricorns, but I did a search on both Capricorn’s strengths and weaknesses. What I found as a strength is that Capricorns can be practical and almost perfectionists. Do you think that’s something that you resonate with when you’re making art?
Yes, but I also think that’s a fucking weakness.
Interesting.
That’s funny. I like being a perfectionist sometimes, but also that’s exhausting because you never get anything done with that mindset. I am a Capricorn, but I’m so glad that I have so many air signs as well. I’m air sign as fuck. Believe it or not, being a perfectionist is tiring. And is usually mostly inflicted on myself, which makes it easier to make quality things, but definitely harder at the same time because I feel like I’m always consistently trying to outdo myself in a certain way.
Do you think that there’s always going to be a part of you that’s never truly satisfied with what you’ve done?
Definitely. I’m not even satisfied with this album. That’s why I’m glad I get to perform it through renditions and add my friends to the process. Make remixes and stuff. I just am never done with anything. So it’s nice kind of being on this journey to let that shit go a little bit. Not too much, though. Not too much.
Then as a weakness, I read that Capricorns can be pessimistic or prideful. So how much do you think you can resonate with that sentiment?
I think that’s the strength [laughs].
Funny how that works.
A little backwards, but it’s true. I definitely am prideful. I don’t know if that’s really my kryptonite. Pessimistic, definitely. I love pessimism. Sometimes you need pessimism. I love a good balance of everything because I think I’m very optimistic, but I’m also sceptical. It’s like, “oh, yeah, this is going great…or so I think.” Yeah, I think that’s necessary. A little bit more of a pro to me.
It’s good to hear the truth from an actual Capricorn. Anything can be said on the Internet. So I’m glad I have you to be a testament to it.
Of course. The internet’s not even real.
Speaking live shows, you’ll be a part of what seems like a full circle moment in Sydney, as you’re sharing a lineup with Madlib, who you used to play during your days as a DJ. How does it feel to come together under circumstances like this?
It’s pretty cool, actually. I’ve never met him before, but I definitely feel like we’ve always been in close proximity for some reason because a lot of my friends have gotten beats from him. It’s cool, but I’m like, okay. I don’t really give a lot of energy to major names. I love that he’s done a lot in the music community, of course. And he’s like a fucking wizard; I’m sure his mental catalogue is nuts. Those are the types of things I admire. But I don’t know. Celebrities are not really fascinating to me, so it’s kind of like, oh, cool, that’s cool.
I guess then shifting the focus onto your own performance, what can we expect from a Liv.e live performance?
I don’t kiss and tell. You gotta come kiss first [laughs]
Catch Liv.e at RISING Melbourne June 15 @ The Forum w/ Obongjayar and follow her here for more.